HAS CHEF SAUCY LE PAWS LOST HIS MIND?

Revolting New Ratstaurant Opens in New Mouse City
By Tina Spicytail

New Mouse City—If you've been chomping at the cheese to try the new gourmet ratstaurant, Too Saucy, run by Chef Saucy Le Paws, you might want to reconsider. That’s because Saucy Le Paws aims to do something no mouse has ever done before—serve the most disgusting food known to mouse! But did he go too far?

Local resirodent Blasco Tabasco thinks he did. “Bat eyes on a stick? Slippery sewer slugs? Blech! No mouse will want to eat that.”

But Saucy begs to differ. When asked if he had completely lost his mind, the famouse chef said with his signature French accent, "it's time les mice open les cheesebrains and try sometheeeng new."

Then in what may prove to be the most controversial statement ever squeaked, the chef added, “it’s always cheese, cheese, cheese with these New Mouse City mice.”

For those daring mice still interested in getting a taste, Too Saucy, located just North of Singing Stone Plaza, is set to open Halloween night.

A revolting recipe from the chef’s kitchen (eat at your own risk!):

Ghostly Goody Goop

Ingredients:
1 large container sour cream
1 small bag coconut flakes
2 cans mandarin oranges
2 cans pineapple chunks, drained
1 bag mini marshmallows

In a large bowl, mix ingredients together and refrigerate. Serve chilled.

IS IT TRUE? DO CATS HAVE MORE THAN NINE LIVES?

Mice in Uproar Over Shocking New Test Results
By Terry Titmouse

CAT’S CLAW BAY—A colony of nearly fifty cats, living on a grassy bank just two miles off Cat’s Claw Bay, seems to have defied all odds. “It’s shocking,” said Mice University biologist Nat Fieldmouse who has been studying the feline family for nearly three years now. “I really cannot believe it, but these cats appear to have not just nine, but ten—or in some cases, even eleven lives!”

While the results of the tests are still to be confirmed, cats everywhere are thrilled by the discovery. “I’m excited to have more time to nap,” said one Cat’s Claw Bay cat. “I could really use an extra year or two of sleep, that’s for sure.”

Local mice, however, have a different perspective. “I personally don’t think it’s fair,” squeaked Wanda Whiskers who lives in the nearby town of Swissville. “I mean, all they do is nap. It’s a waste. We mice only get one life. Why are they so special?”

So how did this happen? “No one knows exactly,” says Dr. Fieldmouse. “But what we do know is that this animal is really no different from the common house cat.”

While the discovery is definitely muensterous, Dr. Fieldmouse assures that it’s not catastrophic. But Wanda Whiskers is still not convinced. “What’s next?” the exasperated mouse asked, “Twelve? Thirteen? Fourteen? When will it end? When will it end?”

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