ROBBERY AT CHEESE MUSEUM

But Thieves Escape Without Precious Loot
By Rodentrick Roundrat

NEW MOUSE CITYA daring daylight robbery at the Mousetropolitan Museum of Cheese was foiled today. In front of dozens of horrified museum visitors, a gang of masked rodents smashed the glass case holding the famous Star of Gorgonzola, setting off alarms in the museum and at police headquarters.

The robbery was well planned. Before guards or police could respond, the thieves rushed out of the building and into a waiting car. But luckily, they didn't get away with the famous star-shaped cheese. Could they have been the latest victims of a legendary curse?

Many wise rodents believe in the curse, and history supports them. King Whitewhiskers of Transratania, the very first owner of the Star of Gorgonzola, was kidnapped by pirates. Queen Fussyfurhappy to be rid of his snoring at nightrefused to pay the ransom. Whitewhiskers spent the rest of his days as a dishwasher aboard a pirate ship.

The next owner, billionaire John D. Ratafeller, lost his fortune in the cheese market crash. He decided to get back on the road to wealth by getting a job and saving money, but the self-made tycoon had never graduated from school. He entered Cheddarton Elementary, but could never make it past the third grade.

Was the curse working on today's would-be thieves? You decide:

When they broke the glass, a clever anti-theft device switched the Star of Gorgonzola with an exact copy made entirely of superglue. They escaped from the law, but their crime will stick to them forever.

TALKING PARROT DEMANDS A VOICE IN ZOO AFFAIRS

By Valerie Vole

NEW MOUSE CITYKoko, the famous talking parrot at the New Mouse City Zoo, has started speaking up for animal rights in the zoo. Better living conditions! Better living conditions! Awk! said the parrot in a recent interview.

When asked what he meant, Koko said, Bigger cage! Bigger cage! Squawk!

The zoo's new veterinarian, a young cat named Samantha Calico, insists that the parrot knows what he's saying, and is not just repeating words he has heard. And furthermore, he's right, she says. He's grown a lot in the last few years, and he does need a bigger cage.

Then the parrot started repeating, More honey for bears! Honey for bears! Squawk!

You see, he makes sense. And he's interested in the welfare of the other animals, said Miss Calico. Somehow, he knows that the bears haven't been given any honey for a whole week.

Elephants love peanuts! Elephants love peanuts! Awk! said the parrot.

There, said Miss Calico. That's another thing. Elephants need more peanuts in their diet. Not just hay every day.

I've spoken about Koko's complaints with my supervisor, Michael Mousely. I've spoken with Zoo Director Ratson, and even with the President of the Zoological Society, Ophelia Hawtymouse. But they won't listen. They're just a bunch of stubborn rodents!

When asked if she was training Koko to complain about conditions at the zoo, Dr. Calico insisted Koko was speaking entirely for himself.

© EDIZIONI PIEMME – ITALY