Thieves Escape Without Precious Loot
By Rodentrick Roundrat
NEW MOUSE CITYA daring daylight robbery at the Mousetropolitan
Museum of Cheese was foiled today. In front of dozens of horrified
museum visitors, a gang of masked rodents smashed the glass
case holding the famous Star of Gorgonzola, setting off alarms
in the museum and at police headquarters.
The robbery was well planned. Before guards or police could
respond, the thieves rushed out of the building and into a
waiting car. But luckily, they didn't get away with the famous
star-shaped cheese. Could they have been the latest victims
of a legendary curse?
Many wise rodents believe in the curse, and history supports
them. King Whitewhiskers of Transratania, the very first owner
of the Star of Gorgonzola, was kidnapped by pirates. Queen
Fussyfurhappy to be rid of his snoring at nightrefused to
pay the ransom. Whitewhiskers spent the rest of his days as
a dishwasher aboard a pirate ship.
The next owner, billionaire John D. Ratafeller, lost his
fortune in the cheese market crash. He decided to get back
on the road to wealth by getting a job and saving money, but
the self-made tycoon had never graduated from school. He entered
Cheddarton Elementary, but could never make it past the third
Was the curse working on today's would-be thieves? You decide:
When they broke the glass, a clever anti-theft device switched
the Star of Gorgonzola with an exact copy made entirely of
superglue. They escaped from the law, but their crime will
stick to them forever.
DEMANDS A VOICE IN ZOO AFFAIRS
NEW MOUSE CITYKoko, the famous talking parrot at the New
Mouse City Zoo, has started speaking up for animal rights
in the zoo. Better living conditions! Better living conditions!
Awk! said the parrot in a recent interview.
When asked what he meant, Koko said, Bigger cage! Bigger
The zoo's new veterinarian, a young cat named Samantha Calico,
insists that the parrot knows what he's saying, and is not
just repeating words he has heard. And furthermore, he's
right, she says. He's grown a lot in the last few years,
and he does need a bigger cage.
Then the parrot started repeating, More honey for bears!
Honey for bears! Squawk!
You see, he makes sense. And he's interested in the welfare
of the other animals, said Miss Calico. Somehow, he knows
that the bears haven't been given any honey for a whole week.
Elephants love peanuts! Elephants love peanuts! Awk! said
There, said Miss Calico. That's another thing. Elephants
need more peanuts in their diet. Not just hay every day.
I've spoken about Koko's complaints with my supervisor,
Michael Mousely. I've spoken with Zoo Director Ratson, and
even with the President of the Zoological Society, Ophelia
Hawtymouse. But they won't listen. They're just a bunch of
When asked if she was training Koko to complain about conditions
at the zoo, Dr. Calico insisted Koko was speaking entirely
The parrot had the last word: Stubborn rodents! Stubborn rodents!
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