Mouser Wins World Title
By Teddy von Muffler
CityChess, one of the world's oldest games, now has its youngest
champion, eight-year-old Bobby Mouser of New Mouse City, who
defeated the fearsome Boris Ratoff today before a huge crowd
in the Ratison Square Garden Arena.
The score was tied at seven games to seven as the players
took their places on opposite sides of the board for the 15th
and final game of the match. There were noisy cheers for young
Mouser and loud boos for the tall, scowling Ratoff. It took
five minutes to get the crowd quiet enough for the game to
"I'll eat him like a piece of cheese," muttered
Ratoff. Then he made his first move, advancing his white pawn
Mouser stroked his youthful whiskers thoughtfully, then quietly
moved his black pawn one square forward.
Ratoff, who has held the championship for more than five
years, then moved a knight in an attempt to defend himself.
It was the worst blunder of his entire career!
Mouser's eyes grew wider and wider as he saw his opportunity.
Then, with an expression of pure joy, he moved his queen diagonally
to the edge of the board and in his clear, high voice, squeaked,
Can rodents roar? That crowd certainly did. While Mouser
beamed and waved to his parents, Ratoff put the end of his
tail in his mouth, bit it hard, and rolled his eyes wildly.
A dramatic end to an unforgettable day in rodent chess history.
CITYOnce again, the city has its famous Christmas tree set
up in Ratafeller Center, spreading holiday joy to ordinary
passersby and tourists who come thousands of miles to see
it. But the tree almost didn't make it this year. Here's what
As always, a team of rodents traveled all across Mouse Island
in the annual search for the perfect tree. Only the biggest,
finest, most beautiful one would do. The search ended in Cheddar
Springs, on Ferret Farm, where they found a gigantic spruce
tree just right for the job.
The owner of the farm, Mr. Filbert Ferret, demanded an enormous
sum of money for the tree. After a long, difficult bargaining
session, a rather high price was agreed on and paid. But before
the tree could be cut down, members of the Cheddar Springs
Nature-Lovers Club rushed up and blocked the way. "Rodents,
spare our tree!" they chanted, over and over again. And
holding each other's tails, they made a furry chain all around
the huge spruce.
"OK, we'll find another tree," said the leader
of the tree hunters. "Give us our money back, Mr. Ferret."
"Nope," said Farmer Ferret. "A deal is a deal."
And there it might have ended, with no money and no tree,
if not for little Melissa Mole, a student at Cheddar Springs
Elementary School. "You can dig up the tree, roots and
all," said Melissa, "plant it in a giant pot in
Ratafeller Center, then bring it back to its home when the
holidays are over."
And that's exactly how the problem was solved.
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