MOUSE RUNS UP CLOCK IN RECORD TIME

By Hickory Dickory

NEW MOUSE CITY—The annual Clock Tower Race was won in record time today by Stan Shorttail of New Mouse City. This competition, in which thousands of runners from all over the world race up the city’s famous Clock Tower, is one of the most spectacular sporting events of the year. But this year’s race was particularly exciting because it was the first time in history that a local rodent took first place.

The tension was high as Shorttail and last year’s winner, Kwamouse Rodento of Kenya, were nose-and-nose the whole way. Then, with only twelve steps left to go, Rodento suddenly stopped right in his tracks, and started swaying from side to side. At this moment, Shorttail surged ahead, breaking the tape at a record time of 2:13.32.

As for Rodento, it’s not clear exactly what happened. Some said it appeared his left sneaker got stuck on a chewed-up piece of bubblegum. But after inspecting his shoe and finding no such evidence, judges declared Shorttail the clear winner, paws down.

The cheers of the crowd could be heard all the way across the city. And to make it complete, just at that moment, the clock struck one.

UFO CAUSES PANIC IN CHEDDARTON

By Zeppola Zap

CHEDDARTON — This quiet community has been shaken lately by a number of UFO sightings. Last Thursday, Mrs. Gisela Mousekin saw a silvery saucer-shaped craft hovering over her backyard. When she went outside for a closer look, the craft zoomed away at high speed.

Last Monday, third-grade students Cee-cee Ratte, Jennifer Gorgonzola, and Mitzi Mousette reported that a similar UFO followed them all the way to school. But most disturbing of all is the experience of Wilbur Wetfur. On Saturday afternoon, he saw the UFO hovering right outside his upstairs window.

“The thing had big round windows,” he said. “I could see ugly green creatures inside. They had some kind of curly tentacles, and they were looking at me. It was horrible!”

Now, at last, the mysterious sightings have been explained. Twelve-year-old Arnold Frizwhiskers has admitted to creating the “flying saucer” as a practical joke. He used a helium balloon and a model airplane motor to build the remote-controlled craft. The green “creatures” inside were actually stalks of broccoli.

“Broccoli is just about the scariest thing I could think of,” he said.

Arnold will not be punished for his prank. In fact, his design so impressed the scientists who were investigating the sightings, they’re recommending that when he graduates from high school, he should get a full scholarship to the Mousachusetts Institute of Technology.

© EDIZIONI PIEMME – ITALY