MOUSE RUNS UP
CLOCK IN RECORD TIME
By Hickory Dickory
NEW MOUSE CITY—The annual Clock Tower Race was won
in record time today by Stan Shorttail of New Mouse City.
This competition, in which thousands of runners from all over
the world race up the city’s famous Clock Tower, is
one of the most spectacular sporting events of the year. But
this year’s race was particularly exciting because it
was the first time in history that a local rodent took first
The tension was high as Shorttail and last year’s winner,
Kwamouse Rodento of Kenya, were nose-and-nose the whole way.
Then, with only twelve steps left to go, Rodento suddenly
stopped right in his tracks, and started swaying from side
to side. At this moment, Shorttail surged ahead, breaking
the tape at a record time of 2:13.32.
As for Rodento, it’s not clear exactly what happened.
Some said it appeared his left sneaker got stuck on a chewed-up
piece of bubblegum. But after inspecting his shoe and finding
no such evidence, judges declared Shorttail the clear winner,
The cheers of the crowd could be heard all the way across
the city. And to make it complete, just at that moment, the
clock struck one.
UFO CAUSES PANIC IN CHEDDARTON
By Zeppola Zap
CHEDDARTON — This quiet community has been shaken lately
by a number of UFO sightings. Last Thursday, Mrs. Gisela Mousekin
saw a silvery saucer-shaped craft hovering over her backyard.
When she went outside for a closer look, the craft zoomed
away at high speed.
Last Monday, third-grade students Cee-cee Ratte, Jennifer
Gorgonzola, and Mitzi Mousette reported that a similar UFO
followed them all the way to school. But most disturbing of
all is the experience of Wilbur Wetfur. On Saturday afternoon,
he saw the UFO hovering right outside his upstairs window.
“The thing had big round windows,” he said. “I
could see ugly green creatures inside. They had some kind
of curly tentacles, and they were looking at me. It was horrible!”
Now, at last, the mysterious sightings have been explained.
Twelve-year-old Arnold Frizwhiskers has admitted to creating
the “flying saucer” as a practical joke. He used
a helium balloon and a model airplane motor to build the remote-controlled
craft. The green “creatures” inside were actually
stalks of broccoli.
“Broccoli is just about the scariest thing I could
think of,” he said.
Arnold will not be punished for his prank. In fact, his design
so impressed the scientists who were investigating the sightings,
they’re recommending that when he graduates from high
school, he should get a full scholarship to the Mousachusetts
Institute of Technology.
EDIZIONI PIEMME ITALY