"The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade, #1: Get your foot stuck in a toilet in the boys' rest room and have to be rescued by the 911 guys." Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of The Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists-and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and teachers on an uproarious and wild ride to remember.