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Celery and Benefits
An ELL student asked if teachers get paid for all of the hours they work. I explained to him how salary works. He seemed confused. I asked him if he understood and his reply was, “I can’t believe they pay you with celery instead of money!”
A student assessment included the question: “What is the first sound you hear in cat?” I had three students look at me and meow!
Dr. Luce’s ABC
Our superintendent visited my PreK class. He was introduced as Dr. Luce. A little boy said, “I know you. My sister reads books about you.” He thought he was Dr. Seuss and was all excited about meeting him.
The Teacher Trap
During a bathroom break, I saw one of my first graders getting in line with another class. I gently guided her back to my line. The other teacher, annoyed, informed me that the little girl was her student! She was an identical twin.
After telling my fifth-grade class that I had seen a double rainbow on the way to work, one girl piped up and said, “Oh, where do you work?”
Skipped a Grade
I was just finishing a home visit when the mom asked, “Why do you keep talking about second grade?” Turns out her first grader had been accidentally placed on my second-grade roster and nobody had figured it out until then!
So Long, Not Good-bye
I was explaining to my class that I would leave at specials time and pick them up afterwards. One little guy thought I was leaving for good. Teary-eyed, he gave me a huge hug and said, “I’m going to miss you when you leave at specials time. You’re a good kindergarten teacher.”
Twenty-six years ago, on my first day teaching, I asked one of my first graders to hold the door as we filed in from outside. Fifteen minutes later, during attendance, I realized he
was missing. Guess where he was? Still holding the door! Sobbing. I hadn’t told him to follow at the end of the line and come into the building.
I sent home forms that needed to be signed at the beginning of the year. One of my students brought back the paperwork, and the signatures had been forged. The name on them? Mom!
Illustration: Serge Bloch
Scholastic Teacher's End of the Day column is sure to make you laugh—featuring quirky questions, strange compliments, teacher bloopers, and more.