Deli Offerings
Child A: “Have you ever eaten chocolate-covered grasshoppers?”
Child B: “Ewww! Gross! Why would you eat a grasshopper?”
Child A: “They’re a delicatessen.”
—Rachel M.

Pho Food
“Mrs. Clays, I am so excited! I have fake noodles [Fig Newtons] for snack today!” —Geraldine C.

Captain, O Captain
“Thanks, Catherine Obvious!”
—January C.

The Trouble with Acronyms
A kid told classmates who were holding hands, “No PMS!” When I asked if he meant PDA, he said, “Oh, what did mine mean?”
—Jenna O.

National Pride
One of my kids thought “The Star-Spangled Banner” was for Mexico, “because it starts with ‘José, can you see?’”
—Joan B.

One-letter Difference
“Chopsticks” instead of “Chapstick.”
—Marlene G

What’s in a name?
Me: “Sorry, Charlie.”
Student: “Who’s Charlie?”
—Trudi L.

Happy Dogs!
At Christmas last year, I overheard a little girl singing: “Feliz doggy dog, feliz doggy dog.”
—Megan C.

All About the Accent
A student’s response to “What is hail?” “Why, that’s a place where bad people go.”—Trudi L.

Wishful Thinking
Me: “Hold your horses!” Child (big eyes and jaw dropped): “I have horses?!”—Dee R.

Lights On
After an ice storm, I was having a conversation with students about losing power to their homes and one kindergartner replied, “Oh, we didn’t lose our power! My mommy and daddy bought a janitor!”
—Jenn F.

Cat Rock
[A student singing]: “Kicking your cat all over the place, singing we will, we will rock you! Everybody! We will, we will rock you!”
—Rebecca R.

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