Scholastic Teacher's End of the Day column is sure to make you laugh—featuring quirky questions, strange compliments, teacher bloopers, and more.
Ear of the Beholder
We were talking about sea shells, and how you can hear the ocean if you put one to your ear. One of my students held a shell to her ear and said, “Ooh, I hear the toilet!”
Skip a Grade
When I told my students that I was going to have a baby, one of the boys said to me, “Your baby could start school in fourth grade because it heard you teach third grade all year long.”
Home Sweet Home
When a PreK student saw me in Walmart one night, she said, “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at my school.”
Not That Old, Honest!
I was sharing with the class that I was in second grade the day President Kennedy was shot. One child said, “Wow, can you tell us about the day Lincoln was shot?”
I was asked, “Do you have a therapist?” The child was wanting a thesaurus!
When I commented I was tired, my granddaughter, who attends the school where I teach, said, “I don’t know why you’re tired. All you do is sit around all day at your desk. We are the ones working.”
—Elvia R. â¨â¨â¨â¨â¨
On the first day of class, a student got ink on his fingers. He made a thumb print, put his name on it, and handed it to me saying, “If there’s ever a crime committed in your room, you can rule me out.”
—Tiara F. â¨
I was sitting in my kindergarten classroom during free time when from across the room came a voice, “Teacher, the student of the week is beating me up!”
—Marc S. â¨
Go Directly to Jail
I was proctoring our PSSAs and a fifth-grade student asked me for help on an answer. I reminded him that it was illegal, I’d lose my job. He kept pleading. His last try was, “I promise I’ll visit you every day in jail.”
An “A” For Dad
As I was demonstrating a math problem, one of my sweet fourth graders said, “My dad is getting really good at these.”
—Beverly B. â¨
I called out the first word for a spelling test. One of my students raised his hand. When I called on him, he asked, “How do you spell that?”