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Showered With Attention
I wore a new dress because I was going to attend a special event after school. I thought I looked very stylish until one of my fifth-grade students told me my dress looked like his shower curtain!
—Jeanne D. B.
Ear to the Ground
One of my second graders told me he would be a better listener because he had found his listening ears. He then informed me they were under his bed.
Rome’s Greatest Innovation
I explained to my students we would be learning about Roman numerals. One child perked up and yelled out, “I like the chicken-flavored best!” It took me a second before I said, “No, honey, Roman numerals, not ramen noodles.”
Up From the Farm
One of my students wrote me a letter. It included: “I’m glad you are my teacher and not a farmer.”
E.T. Fan Club
A year-end kindergarten testing question asked: “What is high in the night sky and there are millions of them?” Thirty percent of the students answered, “Aliens”!
While showing kindergarten students a slide show of museum exhibits, an image of antique cars came up. I said, “This is a car from a long time ago.” To which one of my students responded, “Like the ’80s?”
—Mandy L. D.
One of my second graders asked how to spell nudist. At least that’s what I thought she said. I asked her to use it in a sentence. Sighing, she said, “We nudist our cat was missing.”
No Laughing Matter
In my sixth-grade science class, after watching a film on the savanna biome, a student looked at me in pure horror and said, “But Mrs. W., I eat hyena sausages!” (Vienna sausages?)
Magic and Mischief
One of my students got in big trouble this year when he tried to use his pencil to cast an unforgivable curse on another kid. He got to Avada before I realized what he was going to say.
We were talking about life expectancy in the 1600s and why men’s expectancy was longer than women’s. I asked, “What did women usually have to deal with that men didn’t?” Kid: “Men?” (I was going for childbirth.)