I asked my kindergartners if they knew what sap was. The response I got? “Sap is when squirrels get boogers and wipe them on the tree.”
Too Much Information
In the personal data section of a standardized test, instead of choosing M or F next to the field for “Sex,” I had one boy write not yet.
Tipping the Scales
I gave a test on the steps of the music scale. One student wrote: “dough, ray, me, far, so, la, tea, dough.” He had heard the Homer Simpson song. I gave him full credit.
I put a question on a math test that asked for the abbreviation of yard. One student wrote “lawn.” I gave points for creativity.
On a multiple-choice test, a student chose George W. Bush as the man who brought the Pilgrims over on the Mayflower.
Directions: Find two similes in this passage. Answer: “There are none; the people are unhappy.”
How the Cookie Crumbles
In a question asking how many cookies one would have if they were distributed in a particular way, a student answered, “I don’t know, because my mother told me never to take anything from strangers.”
He Has a Point
In guided reading group, I asked, “Where is the story happening?” One student’s hand shot up and he said, “In the book!”
State of Mind
On a science test, students were asked about the states of matter. Their answers included New York and Texas.
Not That Capital
I asked my third graders for the capital of Michigan. One student said, “M.”
When my seventh graders were asked to explain the water cycle, one replied: “It’s when you turn on the faucet and water comes out.”
Lunch Lady Style
I asked my second graders what they thought a luncheonette was. One answer: “You know, like one of those things the lunch ladies wear on their heads.”
Who helped the Pilgrims build wigwams in the New World? According to one of my second graders, it was “the three little pigs.”