Judge “H&R Block”
Third-grade social studies question: What is the job of the Supreme Court? Answer: To help the president with his taxes.
Name two of the framers of the Constitution. Child: “Moses, but God did most of the work, and John Hancock.”
Careful What You Say
One of my favorite answers to an open-ended test question is “Because you said so.”
From the kindergarten science test of a fellow teacher. Q: Name something that makes a loud noise. A: You.
On a state math exam, there was a question about how many possible combinations you could make from a collection of shirts and pants. One student’s answer: “I would choose black and white because they go with everything.”
I gave my fourth graders a geography assessment with the question, “What countries border the United States?” One girl answered, “Oregon, Idaho, Canada (optional).” I plan to review the difference between states and countries, but I wasn’t aware we’re now giving others the option
not to share our borders.
The I’s Have It
I told my students to “keep an eye on” a certain question because it could be tricky. Most of the students wrote the letter i on that question.
Dear John Equation
“Dear Math, please stop asking me to find your X. I don’t think she wants you back.”
One of my sixth graders, explaining how he got the answer on a math test, continually answered, “That’s what the calculator said.”