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I had a student do a report on antelopes, and instead of the word antelope he put cantaloupe. All I could picture were cantaloupes running away from the lions across the Serengeti.
Sound It Out
“Make a sentence with the word isthmus.” “Isthmus be my lucky day.”
A Seaworthy Vegetable
“What was the name of the ship the Pilgrims traveled to America on?” Second grader: “The Cauliflower!”
Several years ago, I let my 24 kindergartners take off their shoes at naptime. When they were putting them back on, there was one pair left. I said, “Whose are these?” No one answered. I finally found a little boy with no shoes on and said, “These have to be yours. Are they?” He said, “No, they belong to my brother.”
What’s in a Letter?
I have a student who transposes her d’s and b’s. She chose to write a short story using her spelling words, one of which was ditch.…
One of my 7-year-olds wrote a story about a monster that was in the kitchen. She said she and her brother were hiding under the table, and then her brother snuck out and grabbed a bottle of wine to calm his nerves. (He is a big, big brother.)
My co-teacher was doing a lesson on converting measurements. In reference to inches, she asked, “How much is a foot?” A kid told her it was “five dollars.” That’s the price of a Subway foot-long.
Mickey and Friends
I was studying space with my preschoolers. When we started talking about why Pluto isn’t a planet anymore, G. said, “That’s because it’s Mickey Mouse’s dog!”
My second graders were working on an “Our Town” unit. The story involved a child going to work with his parent at City Hall. I was trying to get students to make a connection with someone they knew. Our mayor is also our school safety officer, so I said, “Well, you know who our mayor is, right?” One child yelled out: “Barack Obama!”
Illustration: Gary Clement
Scholastic Teacher's End of the Day column is sure to make you laugh—featuring quirky questions, strange compliments, teacher bloopers, and more.