Julian Rodriguez is far from the eight-year-old boy he appears to be. He's actually an Officer of the Federation, who is trapped in a child's body while he spies on Earth.

Julian Rodriguez has been trapped in a child's body for many long and difficult years, reporting back to the Mothership about this small and backward planet, and the mini-brained Earthlings who inhabit it. He hasn't complained even once, transmitting data faithfully. But finally, there comes a day when things have gone too far.

The Paternal Unit awakens him rudely, and refuses to give him the midday nutrition capsule he requires, containing large amounts of salts, fats and sugar he requires, instead substituting carrots, water and a veggie-dog, all too revolting to even consider ingesting. When he gets to the education center where he is forced to spend most of his days, Julian discovers that he and his fellow students will be subjected to a six hour marathon of filling in small circles and answering mind-numbing questions involving trains and miles per hour, and the concept of more than and less than. Questions and concepts Julian conquered when he was only three!

But the worst part of the day comes as a result of the Evilomami, the Maternal Unit. There is no way any highly decorated Federation Officer could do what she told him to do. On top of a truly awful day, it is the last straw. Officer Rodriguez can take no more. He cannot be treated as a lowly minion-he is a hero! Surely the Mothership will be able to save him from this ultimate disgrace and humiliation.

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