I joked to a very active second grader that we should just glue him to the chair so that he would get some work done. A few minutes later, I turned around to see a sticky chair and a little boy trying to wash off the glue in the classroom bathroom. Thankfully, he dried before recess.
A’s All Around?
I lost my report cards.
I was teaching a lesson on making hot air balloons. Because it was drizzling outside, I couldn’t see whether or not the burner was lit. I got closer and closer—and caught my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes on fire
Make Your Mark
On my first day of teaching at a new school, I wrote all over the whiteboard with permanent marker.
We were making Colonial wreaths out of dry brush…that turned out to be poison ivy in disguise! All of us were covered in it.
I had a school-issue iPad that I had synced to my personal iTunes account. I decided to put on some music, but instead of playing Wheels on the Bus, Outta Your Mind by Lil Jon came on. The iPad then froze. My kindergartners loved the beat of the song and thought it was awesome. I fumbled with the iPad and got the song turned off before the first curse word was said, but it was close.
While acting out part of my read-aloud by saying “hi-YAH!” I did a karate chop, only to hit the edge of my camera and see the pieces go flying. The class was in hysterics.
After writing something on my easel, I went to sit down, missed my chair, and sat into a basket of stuffed animals. The entire class went immediately silent as I tried to get up.
I was teaching science and health, so I had a full-size skeleton hanging on a stand in my room. When it came time to demonstrate the Heimlich maneuver, I decided to use the skeleton as my subject. I stood behind it, placed my hands correctly, and pushed—and one of the legs flew off across the room! The kids were thrilled.
Illustration: Gary Clement