Cheat Sheet
I teach third grade, and on the last day of the school year, my kids were begging me to teach fourth grade the next year. I told them I wasn’t sure I could do that. One of them tugged on my arm and whispered in my ear, “You can do it! I think the answers are in the back of the books.”
—Rebecca M.

Extreme Etiquette
I eat lunch with my students. One kid told everyone, “Don’t talk with your mouth open.” I know he meant “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” but we had a good laugh over it!
—Rhonda R.

Slow Recovery
On the same day, I had several classes tell me I looked tired. One student said, “Yeah, you’ve looked tired, like, since we got back from our camping trip.” We went camping two months ago….
—Rikki A.

Styling With the Stars
Student: “Why don’t you get your hair cut like Nicki Minaj?”
—Jeana W.

Marriage Material
Two students gave me a list of questions for my fiancé, including “Will you save our teacher and her students in a fire? Explain.” They said if he couldn’t answer the questions right, I shouldn’t marry him.
—Christina R.

Teaching to the Choir
One child said to me, “You have a pretty singing voice. You should be a music teacher.” (I am her music teacher!)
—Linda F.

Survival of the Footest
Me: “All right, friends. Three children want to sit on my lap, but I only have two legs. What can we do?”
Preschooler: “Why don’t you grow a third leg?”
—Haven M.

Doctor in Training
I had burned my finger on a curling iron, and when a girl noticed the burn, she said, “I like you, but that finger’s got to go!”
—Alice S.

Weather Wizardry
A student told me that if I wanted a snow day, I needed to wear my pajamas inside out and that way we would have one!
—Holly S.

Delayed Dreams
One of my kids told me to take a nap while the class went to P.E. I wish!
—Patti L.

Fiery Fun
A student said, “If you’ve never been crushed by a fireball, you’re seriously missing out.” What?!
—Rachel A.

Salon Services
Student: “My mother can color your gray hair.”
—Elizabeth M.

Accurate Analysis
I overheard this conversation.
Third grader: “I have Mr. W. next year…what’s he like?”
Fourth grader: “You’ll love him. He’s 50 percent sassy and 50 percent weirdly obsessed with his hair.”
Honestly, that description is 100 percent correct.
—Dan W.


Illustration: Gary Clement; Photo: Kathy Hutchins/Shutterstock

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