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I teach third grade, and on the last day of the school year, my kids were begging me to teach fourth grade the next year. I told them I wasn’t sure I could do that. One of them tugged on my arm and whispered in my ear, “You can do it! I think the answers are in the back of the books.”
I eat lunch with my students. One kid told everyone, “Don’t talk with your mouth open.” I know he meant “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” but we had a good laugh over it!
On the same day, I had several classes tell me I looked tired. One student said, “Yeah, you’ve looked tired, like, since we got back from our camping trip.” We went camping two months ago….
Styling With the Stars
Student: “Why don’t you get your hair cut like Nicki Minaj?”
Two students gave me a list of questions for my fiancé, including “Will you save our teacher and her students in a fire? Explain.” They said if he couldn’t answer the questions right, I shouldn’t marry him.
Teaching to the Choir
One child said to me, “You have a pretty singing voice. You should be a music teacher.” (I am her music teacher!)
Survival of the Footest
Me: “All right, friends. Three children want to sit on my lap, but I only have two legs. What can we do?”
Preschooler: “Why don’t you grow a third leg?”
Doctor in Training
I had burned my finger on a curling iron, and when a girl noticed the burn, she said, “I like you, but that finger’s got to go!”
A student told me that if I wanted a snow day, I needed to wear my pajamas inside out and that way we would have one!
One of my kids told me to take a nap while the class went to P.E. I wish!
A student said, “If you’ve never been crushed by a fireball, you’re seriously missing out.” What?!
Student: “My mother can color your gray hair.”
I overheard this conversation.
Third grader: “I have Mr. W. next year…what’s he like?”
Fourth grader: “You’ll love him. He’s 50 percent sassy and 50 percent weirdly obsessed with his hair.”
Honestly, that description is 100 percent correct.
Illustration: Gary Clement; Photo: Kathy Hutchins/Shutterstock