No Grandma Left Behind
A parent brought her mother’s ashes in an urn (which looked like a coffee thermos) to Grandparents Day...and forgot it. I placed the “thermos” on my desk, unaware.... She rushed back in and exclaimed, “I forgot Mimaw! Oh, there she is!”
A Serious Snacker
I found a brown paper bag in a student’s locker containing three hot dogs and a spoon. He said he sometimes gets hungry in the afternoon.
I found a box of Valentine’s chocolates with a bite taken out of each one.
Ring Around the Rosie
A kindergartner brought me her mom’s wedding ring because she loved me. (I returned it.)
One of my students was carrying a live kangaroo in the parking lot after school. He told me his parents supervised a nearby exotic animal preserve.
A kinder kiddo brought $600 in hundreds to school to use at the book fair. Her mom had said she would give the kid some cash, but she forgot, so the child took part of the rent money. And she decided to share with her friends!
A substitute teacher once left her shoes under my desk. She never came back to get them.
We opened a box of tissues and there was a crisp $1 bill layered in, to be pulled out like a tissue! By the bottom of the box, we had found $4. The students determined the only way the dollars could have gotten in the box was at the factory.
Deodorant, with a bite taken out of it.
Checks You Can’t Cash
I had a first grader hand me a book of his mother’s blank checks. He said it was okay—she had a whole box of them in her bedroom.
My class blew up a bag of balloons and placed them on the floor during the final exam. During the exam, I had been so busy making sure students kept their eyes on their own monitors that I didn’t notice the balloons until the exam was finished!
Illustration: Serge Bloch