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“Are bald eagles bald because of so many bad haircuts?”
After a fire drill, I had a student question how we knew it was just a drill. I explained that the teachers knew ahead of time. As we were settling back down in the classroom, he asked again, “Are you sure? Because it feels warmer in here to me.”
What’s in a Name?
My maiden name is Mann, and one day, when one of my seventh graders was totally spaced out, I asked him what he was thinking about. He responded, in all seriousness, “If you’re Ms. Mann, do you think there’s a Mr. Woman?”
Behind the Times
A student came to me and said, “Ms. B., your birthday is December 7, right?” I said, “Right.” She said, “Now was that 1700 something or 1800 something?”
Kindergarten student at parent-teacher conference: “Teacher, how did you get enough money to buy this whole school?”
Big Shoes to Fill
“Are you sure you are a teacher, Miss? You look awfully little to be a grown-up.” I’m 5'3".
Sent to the Office
One afternoon, my principal came in as I was teaching and started chatting and goofing around with my students, effectively stopping my lesson. A student turned to me and pointedly said, “Can we please go back to learning now?” I was so proud.
Shoes & Ladders
While I was conferencing with a parent last year, a 6-year-old student opened the door and said, “Ms. G., do you have a ladder? I need to borrow it because someone threw my shoe on the roof and I need to go get it.”
Student A: “What is happy hour? My mom is going to it tonight.”
Student B: “My mom said it’s where our teachers go to recover.”
Student A: “Is that like when a Pokémon recovers from a battle?”
Clown’s Out of the Bag
I was telling my third graders about a friendly and positive gentleman who worked at the McDonald’s drive-through. One girl quickly asked, “Was his name Ronald?”
Not Just for Fun
Kid: “Where do you work?”
Me: “I work here.”
Kid: “They pay you to be here?”
Illustration: Catherine Meurisse