The Beast from the East

The Beast from the East He's blue. He's furry. He's hungry. Standing at least ten feet tall in his bare feet, there's no missing this monster! And that horrid growling noise you hear isn't coming from his mouth... it's his belly telling him it's time to eat -- you!

Beast from the East hangs out in a very strange neck of the woods. Weird colored sights are everywhere. Blue, umbrella-shaped bushes, purple rocks, towering orange trees and bizarre purple cabbage plants are all around. Then suddenly you feel the earth tremble and shake. It's the Beast stomping toward you, leaving humongous footprints in the swampy, muddy ground behind him. Now that he's in your face, what a big ugly creature he is! Shaggy, blue hair covers every part of his body. His long, furry tail thumps heavily on the dirt. He scratches his bug-infested chest, and flicks the gross insects at you with his mangy, sharp-clawed paw. Sombody buy this beast a flea collar!

On his narrow, pointy head, two eeys shine at you like bright green marbles. His long, pink snout sniffs the air with flaring nostrils. When he opens his mouth, his sour beast breath nearly knocks you out. Two rows of sharp, yellow teeth rise up from his purple gums. One gigantic, jagged fang with a chip on the end slides down over his drool-drenched chin.

Amazingly enough, beast for the East speaks perfect English! In fact, his long, bumpy tongue talks in many languages, courtesy of what he calls his "Universal Language Adapter." He has a twisted sens of humor and is always breaking into hysterics at his own jokes, barking out in laughter that sounds more like gagging than giggling

Forever smacking his large lips, the Beast is one hungry animal who loves to eat. All through the woods, large bones are scattered everywhere. Leftovers from his many meals! The Beast is particulary fond of barbeque, cooked in his own sceret sauce. Just don't ask him for the recipe -- you're liable to find out that you'r the main course!

This pink-bellied brute is also a clever prnkster who lives to play games all day long. And his favorite game of all is tage. That's because ehen you play by the Beast's rules, winners get to live -- and losers get eaten!

Take me home
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