Absolutely, Positively Not.
by David Larochelle
Steven's a 16-year-old boy with two obsessions: sex and getting his driving license. The problem is, Steven's not thinking girls when he's thinking sex. Could he be -- don't say it -- gay? Steven sets out to get in touch with his inner he-man with Healthy Heterosexual Strategies such as "Start Hanging Out with the Guys," and "Begin Intensive Dating." But are Steven's tactics going to straighten him out, or leave him all twisted up?

Excerpt:
As I slid the notebook back into my pocket I realized we were missing our teacher. Even stranger, the blackboard was blank. Health class with Bud Corcoran never varied. For the first half hour we copied the meaningless notes covering the blackboard while Corcoran read the newspaper and drank coffee. For the second half hour Corcoran read the same notes aloud, word for word, while we studied for another class or slept. Most people slept. Our grade was determined by how many pages of notes we took.



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