Excerpt:

My temporary good cheer lasted until I got on the bus.  Renee Albert caught my eye (well, OK, she always catches my eye) and spoke.  How’s the brain injury?

Which brought me back to reality really, really fast.

I kept going toward the back of the bus without saying anything to Renee and sat down next to Annette.  I had planned to tell her all about “Cubana Be, Cubana Bop,” but now my mind was back on Jeffy. 

I heard that, Steven.  It’s really cool that you were confident enough to just ignore her.

Ignore her? I didn’t ignore her – I’m just too stupid to think of a comeback.  And now I have to go home and find out what happened with my brother and how long I’ll be grounded for making breakfast.

What?

Long Story.  When Jeffy fell this morning, I was making him oatmeal.  I had him up on the stool, and my mom thinks he shouldn’t be on there unless somebody’s, like an inch and a half away.  So if he needed stitches or something, even though I was being NICE by making him what he wanted while the ‘rents were SLEEPING, I’m going to get blamed. 

Well, your mom was right, in a way.

What do you mean?

He DID fall, right? So he wasn’t safe on the stool.

Thanks, Annette.  Thanks a lot.  That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now.  You’re a very inspiring person, you know that?

I was just trying to…

Trying to what?  Show me the light so I can be saved from being such a horrible brother?  So little angel Jeff can be safe from my evil cooking schemes?

I didn’t mean to make you…

Feel bad?  Well, you did.  I’ve been worrying about this all stupid day!

By this point, we were pulling up to my stop.  I got up to storm off the bus but had to wait while Renee got her stuff together in the middle of the aisle.  Plus, Renee took her time walking off, too, so I had to plod along behind her.  It’s hard to storm and shuffle at the same time, let me tell you.

When I got off the bus, I watched Renee walk – no glide – away.  Then I looked up at Annette as the bus started to move.  Maybe it was the slanted fall sun glaring off the window, but it almost looked like she was crying.

Great. 

I let myself into the house and found my mom standing in the foyer, like she had been waiting for me.  When I might be in trouble, I usually try to speak first, before the ‘rents start in on me.  So I plunged right in.  Mom, I’ve been worried all day.  Is Jeffrey ok?

She said, in this strange, soft voice, Steven, your brother is really sick.

Did I?  Was it because he…?

The fall this morning had nothing to do with it.

Whew! I’m off the hook.

But he’s…really…sick.

And this was the absolute worst thing about last October 7^th, the one moment I’ll never forgive myself for.  When my mother began to tell me that my baby brother had leukemia, my first feeling was relief.