Dear Dumb Diary,

Can you imagine how great school would be if you didn't have to get an education in it? Like, if all you did was just go in every day and hang around and not do anything important? It would be like being a teacher.

I looked around for some accent stuff on TV tonite and I found one show where the people had French accents. The French accents made everything sound like you might like to eat it.

Like if you see the words, "pie a la mode," in a restaurant that means "pie with ice cream." Doesn't that sound good? Here's another: "head lice a la mode." That means you have head lice but at least you still get to have ice cream. Doesn't that sound better than just having head lice?

Also, it's amazing that the dogs in Paris ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND FRENCH. It took us three years to teach Stinker not to go wee wee on the rug. I can't imagine how hard it is to teach dogs a foreign language. Maybe I'll try to teach Stinker a couple of French words. although I probably won't start with "oui, oui." (That's pronounced "wee wee," Dumb Diary, and that's how French people say "yes" - which just has to make them laugh all the time.)

Like, you could be all, "Oh, officer, was my whole family in the house when the meteor hit it?"

And he'd be all, "Wee wee."

And then the two of you would just laugh and laugh.

Oh, French people, I just love how foreign you are!