Dear Dumb Diary,
That’s right today is Thursday. And Thursday, at Mackerel Middle School
and other penitentiaries, is traditionally Meat Loaf Day. That means it’s
also the day we traditionally get all sorts of grief from Miss. Bruntford, the
cafeteria monitor, for not finishing out meat loaf.
Today, I quietly mentioned that the people on Fear Factor wouldn’t be able to finish our meat loaf, either. Evidentially, I said it loud enough for Miss. Bruntford’s houndlike ears to pick up, because she came right over and said to me, “What? What is so terrible about this meat loaf?”
And then, Dumb Diary, she took a bite.
Okay, here’s the thing: I don’t hate teachers. I actually like some of them. (One time, I even saw one at the mall and she was buying underwear such as actual people wear.)
But When Miss Bruntford took a bite of the meat loaf, and her mouth was filled with the flavor that many have described as a combination of a petting zoo in July and a burning bag of hair, well, I have to tell you, it was a beautiful, beautiful moment.
I’m not even sure how to describe it exactly. I think Miss Bruntford herself summed it up best when she said…