Thanks for the Laughs
- Grades: PreK–K, 1–2, 3–5, 6–8, 9–12
Being a teacher means that I have the greatest job in the world. Being a kindergarten teacher means that I get to hang out with some of the funniest humans on earth — five- and six-year-olds. Here are some of the reasons that I’m thankful for my job.
Is That What You Meant To Say?
One of my awesome students was smiling and trying to give me a hug. He was trying to tell me that he thought school was fun, but in true kindergarten fashion what he said was, "Before I met you, I had fun every day!"
One day I heard, "Mr. Smith, can I get some water because my mouth is made of cheese?"
I couldn't make any sense of it, but I went ahead and let the big cheese get some water.
Here is one of the best tattles that I’ve heard in my classroom: "He stuck my tongue out at me."
One sweet girl came up to me and told me, "My mom told me that I have a headache this morning."
After pinching his own finger between two blocks I heard one student say, "That had to hurt!" while looking at his finger.
One Constitution Day I was going over some of the vocabulary arising from the Constitution (e.g. liberty, rights). When I got to justice, I asked if anyone knew what justice meant. One of my kids raised his hand and said, "Do you mean Justice Beiber?"
One child who got a Nintendo DS for Christmas kept telling me, "I'm going to play DSS." (DSS — Department of Social Services)
Last February I was letting the class know all of the studying that we would be doing for Black History Month and one kid became highly excited shouting, "I have always loved Black Mystery Month."
I overheard one child tell another, "My family is fun . . . well, at least I am."
Student 1: "Mr. Smith, my little brother is sick."
Student 2: (without missing a beat) "My big brother is sick of me!"
Before field day one year I sent home a note requesting parents send in sunscreen. The same note mentioned that if their student wanted to buy a snack on field day the money should be in a resealable plastic bag. I also asked that both be labeled. The morning of field day I received a plastic baggie full of sunscreen that had been squirted out of the container into the bag — but it was labeled!
From the Lunchroom
Student: "Mr. Smith, I just threw up"
Me: "Are you sick?"
Student: "No I ate that" (pointing to the cooked cabbage on his lunch tray)
Me: "Do you need to go home?"
Student: "No, I need to stop eating whatever that is!"
At lunch one day, one of my students turned around and asked for my help opening a container. He looked like a sad clown with white powder make-up on and around his eyes. After I stopped laughing I asked what he had done. He replied, “I used my donuts to help me see better.”
I Couldn't Make This Up
Student: (jumping and poking at his upper thigh) "OOUUCHH! MY LEG HURTS!"
Me: "Why is your leg hurting?"
Student: "BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING ME HOLD THIS PENCIL?"
Student: "HELP. IT HURTS! CAN I STOP WRITING?"
Me: "No, do you want a Band-Aid?"
He accepted a Band-Aid and was fine the rest of the day.
One of my little kinders would not stop talking one morning so I went over to her and quietly said that at my conference with her mom that afternoon I would have to say that she talks all the time. She turned around, looked me right in the eyes, tilted her head and said, "She already knows that Mr. Smith."
One Monday morning, as I checked a student in for the day, I asked him what he did over the weekend. Very seriously he answered, “I sat on the couch in my underwear and watched Netflix.”
One day on the playground two kids ran by me, one of them yelling, “You aren’t playing right. I’m the monkey and you can’t shoot the monkey!” (Of course we had to remind ourselves of the "No guns — pretend or otherwise — on the playground" rule.)
And Finally . . . First Impressions
On the first day of school one year I had a student raise her hand and tell me that she played the violin. I commented on how cool that was and asked if any one else played an instrument. One boy shouted out, "I play Guitar Hero with my daddy and I rock on that guitar!"
On the first day of kindergarten we read The Kissing Hand, a story about a racoon who is very scared of the first day of school. The book includes a scavenger hunt. After we read the story, I lead the students on our own scavenger hunt around the school and when we return to the classroom there are Hershey Kisses at everyone’s seat. About ten minutes after the students discovered their candy, I was going over the rules for our Housekeeping Center when a little girl raised her hand and said, “You know that candy that the raccoon brought us? I didn’t get a piece!” After the proper show of concern I said, “Let me make sure that there isn’t any chocolate in your mouth and I will get you another piece!” She covered her mouth with one hand and said, “I think we’re good here!”
Please share your funniest moments with me (I honestly can’t wait to hear them), and remember this Thanksgiving, to add being thankful for the ability to laugh at life to your list.
I can’t wait to see you next week.