This is confusing to me. How do you tell a child that they can't do something, and that they have to do something else that isn't their first, second, third option and not have it be a punishment, regardless of how you frame it? What else would it be?
Anyway, this TED talk seems to suggest you are on the wrong track:
Looking at Lawrence Kohlberg's 6 levels of moral development, this system seems to get the children to think all the way up to level 2.
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