About Children & Grief

There is wide variation in the ways that children understand death. For most children, death is a new experience. And like all new experiences, the unknown can be confusing and frightening. In the face of death, adults may feel helpless about how to provide answers and comfort. Learn more about how children grieve with these articles and resources, then explore ways that teachers can help children manage loss.

After a Loved One Dies—How Children Grieve: And How Parents and Other Adults Can Support Them (PDF)
By David J. Schonfeld, M.D., and Marcia Quackenbush, M.S., M.F.T., C.H.E.S.
The death of a loved one is difficult for everyone. Children feel the loss strongly. Parents are coping with their own grief. If a parent dies, the surviving parent faces the new responsibility of caring for the children alone. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends are affected, too. Read more.

Video: Children and Grief
From CBS News
Katie Couric speaks with Dr. Jeanette Betancourt and Sesame Street's Elmo about how children cope with the death of a parent, the grieving process, and the new Sesame Street program called When Families Grieve. Watch video.

When a Death Occurs in a Child's Life: Common Reactions That Children May Have
Excerpted from The Grieving Student: A Teacher's Guide, by David Schonfeld, M.D., and Marcia Quackenbush, M.S., M.F.T., C.H.E.S.
What we can be certain about is that children's reactions to death relate to their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes these reactions make sense to teachers, parents, and other adults. At other times, they can be confusing. Read more.

How Children Understand Death: Four Basic Concepts About Death 
Excerpted from The Grieving Student: A Teacher's Guide, by David Schonfeld, M.D., and Marcia Quackenbush, M.S., M.F.T., C.H.E.S.
Some discussions about children's understanding of death draw upon an ages and stages model. However, there is wide variation in the ways children of the same age understand death based on what they have experienced and what they already know about it. Read more.

The Child's Loss: Death, Grief, and Mourning 
By Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., and Jana Rubenstein, M.Ed., LPC
For many children, death is a new experience. Most children do not know what to expect following the loss of a family member or friend. Young children may not understand what death really means and may be confused or even frightened by the reactions of other family members. Read more.

Resilience: Where Does It Come From?
By Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.
Life is full of surprise, challenge, and, for some, distress and trauma. Children facing these experiences will show a range of responses. Some will regress when facing even the minor, unavoidable stresses of a typical day at school. Other children tolerate and even continue to thrive in the face of significant trauma. Read more.

Children and Loss: An Overview (PDF)
The death of a family member or friend is painful, and children and teens feel the loss strongly. This overview provides some key facts about how children grieve and what you can do to help. Read more.

Download Children and Loss: An Overview in Spanish (PDF)

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